Crazy Love

About twenty minutes ago I wrote this on Facebook..

           “Tonight I realized that the things that people do and the things that people say they are going to do are two different things. Sometimes you put to much trust in someone and it backfires. But in the end you have to remember that you are your own person. Sit back and relax and never lose sight of the person you told yourself you were going to be… BECOME THAT PERSON! Goodnight.”

          As of now I am going into my fifth week of my senior year in high school. Everything has been so crazy. I didn’t do to well Junior year grade wise and I was really focused on one thing in particular during the summer, my boyfriend, whom I thought was the love of my life. He was a bit older than me and is in the military. At the end of the summer he was leaving to go to South Korea for the year. I knew it was coming and he promised me that we would last. Three days before he left he started ignoring me.. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. It seemed like everything was going so right. But suddenly it went wrong. The day he was leaving I was sitting in my living room when I received a text message from him. He asked if everything was alright between the two of us and I just told him how hurt I was so we both made the decision that at the moment it wasn’t right for me to be waiting for him while I was finishing my last year of high school and him being gone for so long. So I just let him go. I have been friends with this other boy for a long time. He was my best friend of all time. When he asked me on a date although I was still hurting I took the chance and things took an amazing turn. I suddenly felt happy again. One night my ex texted me and asked me if I was with someone else and suddenly got very angry with me for not waiting. So I broke everything off with my best friend. We haven’t been the same ever since. At the beginning of the school year I found out that he had gotten another girlfriend; and usually i’m not the jealous type but this time I was really hurt. It was like he was suddenly taken from me. 

The other day I texted him asking him about our math homework. First time we had talked in awhile.. And as we were talking he suddenly told me that he was sorry for everything. And I just broke down and told him everything that I was feeling for him. He also told me how he was feeling which was the fact that he is in love with me. I was so happy and we just kept talking about our feelings for each other. Then it hit me. He still has a girlfriend whether I like her or not I wasn’t ready to wreck a relationship like that. So I asked him what he was going to do about her and he said “idk?” I felt like that answered all my questions. If he wasn’t willing to stop a relationship and be with me (i know that sounds selfish) and at the same time not give her the courtesy of letting her go while talking to another girl like that. He wasn’t the same person I knew. And I simply told him that he needed to make the decision. He got mad at me. That’s that. So the other day I told him that we needed to meet in our spot and while we were there we talked about how this is gonna go and he said he was gonna talk to her about it cause that’s the right thing to do. Him and I have never been liars. So expecting to get a text last night and not receiving one I texted him to ask him how it went.. He replied with, “you need to not talk to me anymore, we’re done and don’t expect me to text back to your response.” That killed me and today I saw that there relationship was better then ever on Facebook. I’ve never been put in this situation before and it sucks. I never even thought I would get remotely close to this situation. But I don’t know what to do. Life seems to be so complicated and it has its turmoils but I just figure that I have been living an emotional roller coaster right now and I need to be me. As everyone says. I won’t let this effect me I will continue to be the girl I have always been even before I was hurt. I won’t let anything blind my judgment and I won’t be afraid of love just a bit more cautious the next time it decides to head my way. Don’t let others make you change the decisions in your life. If I wouldn’t have let my ex control me I could be dating a fantastic person right now but no. I turned into one of those people who sounds completely pathetic. But I don’t care. I will overcome this and move on in this journey we call life. 

Love.

The Girl With The Ripped Jeans <3

Listening

I Know it;s been awhile.. But hello.

I know before I had said that I was going to write in this everyday; and I have failed to do so for a few months. I really do apologize for that. I hope you will forgive me. But guess what guys I am back! At the top my title says, ‘Listen’. Over these past few months I have learned that listening comes in handy a lot as a teenager. Being in high school you are always listening, to a million people! Sometimes you just want to stop and think to yourself that you will be fine if you don’t listen to those who are trying to do the talking.. But let me tell you I have learned my lesson. At the beginning of the school year I had a million friends, who I listened to all the time, then I did a stupid thing and lost them. At the beginning of the year I told myself that this year was going to be different, “I am going to do way better this year than I ever have. This is the most important year and this is my last chance to prove myself.” But let me tell you I did the exact opposite. Once I put myself in that mindset I told myself that I thought that I was invincible and now I am the furthest thing from it. Once I started thinking that way I decided to stop ‘listening’ to those who matter most like teachers, parents, family, and friends. I thought that I was right and no one else. At that moment was the moment that lead me to exactly where I am now. 

When the report cards came in the mail wanna know what my grades were? Well I’m not going to tell you the exact but I can tell you that my grade point average was a 2.8, do you remember my post about disappointing your parents? Well as soon as my parents saw it they were very disappointed. I never meant to make them feel that way but once it came in the mail there was no turning back. My whole entire school career I have been an A, B student in English. You know what I got? I got a D+. A D+! My Mom confronted me first and all I could say was sorry. I know that’s not good enough but that’s all I could do at that moment to try to patch what I had broken. For insurance you have to have a 3.0 or better and I did not have that so now money was becoming an issue. So not only did I disappoint my Mom but also put a financial burden on this situation as well. A few days later I got a text from my Dad asking me what went wrong. And me being the Daddy’s little girl I am I just broke down in tears. I felt so bad about what I had done. Then on top of that I knew that I was going to face the rath of my college prep councilor; she told me that this D+ was going to make it hard for me when colleges look at my transcripts. Of course that was exactly what I didn’t want to hear but I just took it all in and listened to everything she had to say.

As much as I wanted to blame my teacher for not teaching right or make up excuses I knew none of that was true. This was all my fault. I never took the time to think about the consequences that would come if I slacked off. 

These past two years everyone has been telling me listen to what those above you have to say cause they know what they are talking about. No teenager wants to listen to that, they want to think that they are always right but, let me tell you, you’re not always right. It took me messing up to learn that. Hopefully you reading this won’t have to go through the same thing to learn it and just take my advice.

Love,

The Girl With The Ripped Jeans <3

Why Teenagers Lie to their Parents

Today…

I got a question from one of my readers asking, “Why do teenagers feel it so necessary to lie to their parents?” Well mzklever there are many reasons why teens feel the need to lie to their parents. Being a teenager myself I would like to think that I know why but everyone has their own reason. What I am thinking is that your parents are the ones who made you and the ones who have taught you how to be you. Many kids would argue that their parents didn’t ‘make them’ who they are today but by watching what they have done through out the years their parents have. I even struggle with it from time to time. Another things that teens say is that they don’t need to prove themselves to anyone; but honestly everything a child does is for their parents to accept them. They may not realize it now and may argue that point but when they are older they will be able to see it. Just recently I noticed that all sorts of things were happening in my life that I knew my parents wouldn’t be proud of so I tried to change the situations. It was nothing to terrible but I still felt they wouldn’t like it. Yes, I am guilty of lying to my parents time and again about so many things. Everyone has done it. It’s just human nature and you know what it’s okay if at some point you can make it right again. Through the years I have felt that by lying to my parents I was keeping myself from getting into trouble, but writing this article right now I am realizing that it was really so that I didn’t have to go through disappointing my parents. That is one of the hardest situations to face as a teenager. I know that i’m not perfect but I try to be as perfect as possible for my parents. Because I love them. Hopefully I have answered your question mzklever, and anymore questions feel free to ask!
Love,
The Girl with the Ripped Jeans <3

Music is my Muse

Music…

“Music is my muse. It makes me think, it helps me dream, and mostly it gets me through good times and bad. ”  – The Girl with the Ripped Jeans.

As you all know I want to be a writer as I get older and really begin my life as an adult. What I really love doing is writing stories; putting my imagination to the test! 

My story all started..

About two years ago over summer I had the chance to stay at the college near by for six weeks, with a college prep program. They had asked me at the beginning what I wanted to do once I got into college, and as a freshman in high school that is a huge question. They told me that it doesn’t have to be something like a lawyer or a doctor or something over glorified like a model or an actress; it could be something that I just simply love. Which brought me to the answer of being a Writer. During the summer they set me up in an English class along with a bunch of other kids my age and the teacher gave us an assignment. We had to write the beginning of a novel by the end of the summer; so of course I went straight to my  dorm and started brainstorming what I could write about! Nothing was coming to me though, so out of frustration I just grabbed my iPod and started listening to music…That’s when it all happened! Songs were coming on and giving me the greatest ideas. By the end of the summer I had half a novel done! When I turned it in to be corrected my teacher read the beginning of it and sort of looked at me weird.. automatically my heart dropped. Like, “Oh crap I did something wrong!” When I got the paper back a week later he pulled me aside and said, “you have some really nice stuff here. You have some really strong writing and your play on words is just amazing.” After that I knew exactly how I would make something of myself as a writer! Now I am almost done with my novel and I am pretty happy with it. I’ve only ever let three people read it cause I am nervous about letting others read so much of my writing. But you know aren’t songs others feelings put in tune? If they can do it I should be able to, too. (: 

One of my favorite songs is a song by Rascal Flatts; Stand. It’s so amazing every time I listen to it I get butterflies all over and just feel like I am invincible! The whole song is talking about when you have struggles in your life you just have to, “look up decide you’ve had enough; you get mad, you get strong; wipe your hands and shake it off. Than you stand!” You lead your own life. It’s inevitable as to what will happen but you just have to keep holding on, “when push comes to shove, you taste what you’re made of;  you might bend till you break cause it’s all you can take.” This song has inspired me throughout my life to just keep going on. Things can get hard sometimes but you just have to keep going.

Sometimes a form of writing for me is to write songs. If I just need to get something out I grab a notepad and pen and just start writing. Usually the things I am feeling aren’t directly written. The songs have deeper meanings. But music helps me get it out. 

So the next time that you are sad, happy, in love, or just need a great idea to get you through go on the internet and check out some YouTube or grab your iPod and go for a jog. 

“Music is my life, my love, and the greatest gift anyone could give.”

Love,

The Girl with the Ripped Jeans <3

The Girl with the Ripped Jeans <3

The One Who; Helps Others Dreams Come True

So earlier this week…

My Aunt came over to my house and was raving about this website! She was telling me all about it and how she loves to read my stuff and that she thought that it would be a great idea for me to try it out. Yesterday I finally made one and I am already in love with it. As I was getting used to writing on here and all,  I  suddenly  got a post from awonderouslife, a woman who had commented on one of my posts earlier and helped me continue on with my writing; by giving me that extra little boost, knowing that my writing was good. (: So awonderoulife thank you a million times +1. It’s really heart warming to know that there are already people out there reading my blog and enjoying it for all that I want it to be. To continue, the s’morning I woke up with a little comment on one of my blogs and it was from her; she has nominated me for the Liebster Blog.! I’m no quiet exactly sure what it is as of now but she informed me that to earn this award you have to follow a few simple steps;

1.) Give a shout out to the blogger who nominated you!  So here you are: http://awonderouslife.wordpress.com/ 

I have read some of her stuff and I really like it, she is great so go check her out!

2.) Choose 5 bloggers who also deserve the honor! (forgive me if I nominate someone who has more than 200, as I am new to this site and am not sure how to see if they do or not. I will try my best )

simpl3nough 

This young lady I believe to be about my age commented on one of my posts yesterday and mentioned that she has been trying to find someone like her on this site; just the kind of person who I am  happy to follow and be followed by haa. She has a great blog that I have enjoyed reading. She also has a lot of great advice! Give her a look at if you would like! 

mzklever  

I’m not quite sure if I can nominate someone who has been nominated but you know she deserves to be recognized more than once! Her blog is great; for me being a teenager seeking to help teens I like to look at her blog to get some insight on how adults think and she is very clever and makes me giggle a bit if I do say so myself! 

http://jamesdez.wordpress.com/

This man in my opinion is very honest! And I like that quality in someone! He seems to just tell the truth in his blogs and though he doesn’t think that he is funny I do (:

Cobblestone Streets

One thing you find with me is that I am in love with photography. It’s like telling a story or showing life’s obstacles through the lens of a camera. I like this girl in particular cause she is really good at showing that. Her photography is ahhmazing if I do say so myself. Give her a little looksie!

http://awordsmithsbrainworks.wordpress.com/

I like this lady because she is really deep in her work and when you read her stuff she really gets you thinking! So please go check her out!

3.) Lastly you continue letting people know about what the award is and have fun writing!!!

Thank you so much to everyone! Letting me read your blogs and such! And one last thank you to  mzklever  for nominating me for this!!!

Love,

The Girl with the Ripped Jeans <3